The great problem is how to keep in touch with so many people, when you hardly have time to see and enjoy your closest friends. Indeed, as a busy and upwardly-mobile executive, you may sometimes be forced to give your own family less time and attention than they deserve. How, then, can you hope to keep in touch with business and social contacts? Must you always approach them like this?
"Joan, I'm almost ashamed to call. It must be four years since we talked, and then I was phoning to get your ideas on the Peroni acquisition which, incidentally, were very helpful. Gosh, it seems like the only times I ever get in touch are when I want something. But I wonder if you could help me out with some information..."
You can't go on forever, getting in touch only when you want something. Or at least you shouldn't. But what can you do?
Well, one thing's certain. You can't keep in touch with leisurely lunches and long, chatty phone calls. You just don't have the time...nor does the other person, in most cases. And often the connection isn't intimate enough for such a strong dose of togetherness, anyway.
So what's your strategy? Obviously, something thoughtful but less time-consuming. Here are some suggestions:
Make quick, spontaneous phone calls.
When you see something that reminds you favorably of one of your contacts, grab the phone and say "Congratulations," "Bravo," "Well done."
Maybe it's a shrewd acquisition, an ingenious new Internet site, a terrific new commercial, a compelling speech, a scholarly journal article, a quickly-settled labor negotiation, a successful stock offering, a newly-issued patent...or maybe just an unusually handsome new paint job on the house, a rare second-place finish in "Class B" golf at the club, a 12-inning Little League win, or a daughter's acceptance at Yale Law School. The fact that you noticed...and smiled to yourself...is enough reason to call. Give voice to the thought!
And when an assistant or a machine answers, your brief "thought-of-you-and- decided-to-call" call can be brief indeed.
Shouldn't that have been your previous call, rather than another request for free legal advice?
Are there a very few special people you wish you'd bump into every once in a while but-because they've gone to distant places-your paths no longer cross at the office, club, hardware store, or breakfast table?
Instant Messenger services can be a convenient way to stay in touch with folks who wish to stay in touch with you. Here's the Internet equivalent of passing on the street and stopping for a chat...or longer if you both have time. No matter which IM software you and the other person both use, you can arrange to be alerted when you're on the Internet and the other person is also on and is not choosing to be "invisible." Then, with just a click, you can send an instant message to open a dialog.
You don't intrude on the person's privacy and you don't phone at an awkward time. Courtesy, of course, requires extreme brevity unless the person indicates a desire to do more than just exchange brief greetings.
To communicate, both parties must be using the same service and agree to receive each other's messages. However, you can run multiple IM services simultaneously on most computers. Each runs "in the background," using very little memory or CPU power, so whatever else you're doing on your computer is unaffected.
As more of the IM services add voice communication capability, predictions are that these "services" may one day offer the equivalent of long distance phone service.
Let the Postal Service help.
Some of the most successful executives are those who've learned how to use the mails to keep in touch with large numbers of business and personal contacts. This method of renewing acquaintance needn't take a large investment of time, since your personal assistant does most of the work. Nonetheless it's extremely effective, because you can periodically cover your entire list of contacts, to make sure that nobody gets left behind.
Indeed, annually mailing something "first-class" to all your contacts insures you against inadvertently losing anyone you haven't been in touch with recently. If some of your contacts have moved, the Post Office will probably forward your mailing, and you'll provoke up-dates from people you're not current with. And if the time for postal forwarding has elapsed, your envelope "retumed-to-sender" will alert your assistant to get on the phone and track the person down.
Send holiday cards.
A lot of people are delighted to see the decline in the custom of sending Christmas and Chanukah or New Year's cards. That's an understandable feeling, if you're an at-home parent with a ten-room house and three children between the ages of 4 weeks and 5 years to take care of. But if you're an upwardly-mobile business executive with a personal assistant, maybe you should think again.
Renewing valued associations at least once a year is a small price to pay in gratitude for past courtesies and in anticipation of possibly asking favors in the future. How many years can legitimately go by without a note or a phone call, before it becomes more awkward to call up a former friend than a complete stranger?
Actually, with fewer cards being sent, your card...if you choose to send one, and I suggest you do...becomes a more meaningful gesture. You took the time when you didn't have to!
If you do decide to carry on this gracious custom, don't make the ridiculous mistake quite a few executives make. Don't have the envelopes hand addressed and stamped, and then merely put an unsigned, printed card inside. That way the recipient's assistant throws the human touch into the wastebasket. What actually arrives is a printed folder that's less personalized than your American Express bill. Word-process the envelopes, and put them through the postage meter. But personalize the card. At least sign your name over the place where it's printed. And if the card goes to someone you've really been remiss in not contacting for a whole year, write a few words of greeting.
